A few people have asked me about the readings we chose for the wedding ceremony. Since I just finished telling you about the actual ceremony, this seems like a good time to share.
Our first reading was a poem written by Alice Walker. It really spoke to what I most wanted out of our ceremony. I love my life with Don, and I am extremely happy to have him share the rest of my days … but I always want us to be our own people with our own interests and opinions. I sort-of wrote about this when I discussed our search for a wedding celebrant.
When I saw the Alice Walker poem discussed on the $2K wedding blog, I knew it was something I wanted to include in our ceremony as well. It was a perfect summary of what I wanted to say. We’re not squeezing our two full lives into one; we’re each expanding our lives. I love it.
Beyond What
Alice Walker
We reach for destinies beyond
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
of promises
perceive each
the other’s life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
into One.
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.
To choose, renounce,
this, or that –
call it a council between equals
call it love.
Later I found an interpretation of an Apache wedding blessing that I really liked and we decided to use that as well. Then I learned that the blessing has no connection to the Apache or any other native culture, but that it was written for a 1950s Western called Broken Arrow. I figured that there were lots of other things about this wedding that were non-traditional … so we might as well use a blessing written for a wedding in a Hollywood movie.
Wedding Blessing
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
The rest of the wedding ceremony was edited from the ethical humanist wedding ceremony. If you want to read the whole thing (which is actually quite short), read more below the fold.
(PS - if you don’t keep reading, next up is A Small Celebration on the Beach)
Marriage of Don Whiteside and Susan Fussell
May 2, 2009
Ocean City, Maryland
CELEBRANT:
Friends, we have been invited here today to share an important moment in the lives of Susan Fussell and Don Whiteside. We are as honored to be part of this day as they are to have us here to celebrate their marriage and witness the sharing of their wedding vows.
Today Don and Susan will make a public declaration of their commitment to each another, and they will establish themselves in a union of mutual caring and responsibility.
Together we will celebrate their love, acknowledge their union, and support their commitment to one another - a commitment for the good times and the hard times they will face.
Don and Susan have asked their good friend, Suzanne, to read the words of Alice Walker.
POEM - Beyond Walk, by Alice Walker
CELEBRANT:
Don and Susan, you are surrounded by our good wishes and loving thoughts, as you state your intentions and make public your commitment to one another.
Don, do you take Susan to be your wife?
Susan, do you take Don to be your husband?
Don, please declare your intentions to marry, repeating after me.
Susan, I choose you to be my wife,
to respect you, to care for you, and to grow with you,
through good times and hard times,
to love you and be your friend,
to share with you and be your companion,
giving the best that I can to fulfill our lives together.
Susan, please declare your intentions to marry, repeating after me.
Don, I choose you to be my husband,
to respect you, to care for you, and to grow with you,
through good times and hard times,
to love you and be your friend,
to share with you and be your companion,
giving the best that I can to fulfill our lives together.
Now that they have stated the vows that will join them in life, Don and Susan have asked their friend Dawn to read an interpretation of an Apache Wedding Blessing.
READING: Wedding Blessing
CELEBRANT:
Marriage is a life born of sharing and sustained by love, a joining of two individual lives in mutual respect for mutual benefit, a union in which two people take responsibility for one another without taking over the life of the other, for love seeks to do right by the other, and to make life fulfilling and happy for both.
Understanding and accepting this, Don and Susan have entered into marriage and will exchange rings, as symbols of their union.
Don, repeating after me, please present Susan with the symbol of your love and commitment:
Susan, I give you this ring
As a symbol of my love for you
And my commitment to our marriage
And, Susan, repeating after me, please present Don with the symbol of your love and commitment:
Don, I give you this ring
As a symbol of my love for you
And my commitment to our marriage
Please join hands.
Don and Susan since you have made your commitment to one another,
and have exchanged rings to symbolize your union,
I give voice to your marriage and by the authority vested in me,
I PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.
May you have light to guide you on your way,
strength to uphold you at all times,
hope to lift you and inspire you,
and love to cheer your nights and days.
May you always rejoice in the presence of family,
and the company of friends.
May you go forth now in the spirit of adventure,
and grow together in understanding and helpfulness.
And may your union enrich the lives of all you meet.
Now, please celebrate this union with your first kiss as husband and wife.
I’m pleased to introduce for the first time as husband and wife, Don and Susan Whiteside.
Next up: A Small Celebration on the Beach
Tags: readings
May 13th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Susan- Great job in all your wedding planning. I know it was such a special day for you and Don. I have read your blog and you are such a crafty, talented person. All that you have done looked so beautiful and I LOVED your wedding gown. You looked stunning! You had so much on your plate with planning the wedding itself, making everything & the blogging. Kuddo’s to you!! I don’t know how you did it all. I would have been freakin out the whole time!! Again, GREAT JOB!! I wish that I could do all that you have done. I want to wish you guy’s much happiness together for years to come!!!!
Ps: I really think that you need to think about being a “Wedding Planner” You would be GREAT at it!
May 14th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Thanks, Christy. I WAS freaking out, but I wouldn’t have changed anything about the planning process, really. The wedding and all our details just felt right - like us.