Hey That’s A Nice Life

We were finally married!  As Cake played our recessional song (which Don started calling the booyah several months ago, as in “Booyah!  She married me.”) we walked down the aisle hand in hand.  We hit the dune path to hide for a moment while everyone else got out of their seats and our excellent mistress of ceremonies, Lynda, passed out some bubbles.

After everyone was assembled, we headed back over the dune into the bubbles.  It was so windy that the guests didn’t even have to blow them out … they just kinda wafted out on their own.

Then we asked everyone to stand together so we could get a group shot.  Here’s our friend and photographer Chris unlawfully jumping over the dune fence to get a better shot.

I love this picture of Chris at work, too.

After the group shots we let everyone head to the reception.  We had hoped the weather would be nice and everyone would linger on the  beach sipping lemonade for 10 minutes while we got our final pictures, but it was just too cold.  In fact, it was so cold that while we got a few good pictures like ones below, we didn’t get everything we wanted - like pictures of Don and I closer to the water, or sitting together in the sand or in the wedding chairs, or with writing in the sand, etc.

I think we got pictures of me with Jaimie, Lynda and Dawn, plus Don with Mickey and Suzanne.  I REALLY hope we got them anyway as those were the people who stepped up to play a special role on our wedding day (like a wedding party without matching dresses and rented tuxedos).

At any rate, it was cold and there were cocktails to be had and amazing appetizers to nibble so we headed off to the cocktail hour. 

Up Next: Cocktails at Sunset

A few people have asked me about the readings we chose for the wedding ceremony. Since I just finished telling you about the actual ceremony, this seems like a good time to share.

Our first reading was a poem written by Alice Walker. It really spoke to what I most wanted out of our ceremony.  I love my life with Don, and I am extremely happy to have him share the rest of my days … but I always want us to be our own people with our own interests and opinions.  I sort-of wrote about this when I discussed our search for a wedding celebrant.

When I saw the Alice Walker poem discussed on the $2K wedding blog, I knew it was something I wanted to include in our ceremony as well.  It was a perfect summary of what I wanted to say.  We’re not squeezing our two full lives into one; we’re each expanding our lives.  I love it.

Beyond What
Alice Walker

We reach for destinies beyond
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
of promises
perceive each
the other’s life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
into One.
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.

To choose, renounce,
this, or that –
call it a council between equals
call it love.

Later I found an interpretation of an Apache wedding blessing that I really liked and we decided to use that as well.  Then I learned that the blessing has no connection to the Apache or any other native culture, but that it was written for a 1950s Western called Broken Arrow.  I figured that there were lots of other things about this wedding that were non-traditional … so we might as well use a blessing written for a wedding in a Hollywood movie.

Wedding Blessing
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons,
But there is one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

The rest of the wedding ceremony was edited from the ethical humanist wedding ceremony.  If you want to read the whole thing (which is actually quite short), read more below the fold.

(PS - if you don’t keep reading, next up is A Small Celebration on the Beach)

Read more…

So when we left off, my dad was escorting me down the aisle, Don was waiting at the end and the guests were taking pictures.  I didn’t notice at the time, but Don was a little choked up (either that or the wind was getting to him which is entirely possibly). 

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson 

My father gave me a hug and Don asked the officiant if he could kiss me yet.  Jeffrey had a good sense of humor and the crowd all laughed, but Jeffrey did protect my honor by telling Don he had to wait until after our vows.

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

Jeffrey began the ceremony with a welcome and then asked our friend Suzanne to read a poem.  That’s when we realized everyone was still standing.  In fact, I think I may have said, “Oh, they’re still standing.”  Very bridal. At any rate, everyone chuckled again when Jeff told them they could be seated.

Here’s a picture of Suzanne reading Beyond What, by Alice Walker.  She barely even got squeaky (her major concern!).

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

After the first reading we began our vows.  We both said, “I do.”  Don was first, and then me.  After I agreed, Don breathed an audible sigh of relief and feigned wiping the sweat off his brow.  I know this was feigned because it was freezing!  In fact, it was around this time that my teeth started to chatter.

Photo by Erin Bonilla

Then we exchanged vows.  Don recited his beautifully, but I, of course, got emotional.  The first line was, “Don, I choose you to be my husband.”  I started to cry.  That’s when the next round of hilarity started.

The second line was, “To respect you, to care for you and to grow with you.”

I was trying to compose myself to go on but I couldn’t find my voice through the tears.  This is when Don laughed.  And that’s when Jeffrey laughed.  Because, as it turned out, the line that I couldn’t quite choke out was, “To respect you.”  Don said, “I know I make that tough for you most days.”  And that’s when everyone else laughed, including me. 

Later people told me they thought I was laughing about respecting him the whole time, but really I was crying from having spoken the previous line and knowing that Don would be beside me, sharing my life, forever and ever.  I was so glad that Don made the joke, though. Even though I was more or less crying during the rest of my vows, I was able to get through them effortlessly after he made me laugh.

And then, mercifully, we had a break while my oldest friend (the friend I have known the longest that is - not actually my OLDEST friend), Dawn, read an Appache wedding blessing.  Here she is doing so:

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

One of the lines in the blessing is “Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.” I was really hoping that Don would start sharing his warmth at that moment because I was freezing.  So when Jeffrey told us to take hands, Don leaned over to blow on my hands and warm them up.  It must have looked like he wanted to kiss them, though, because Jeff said, “Not yet!”

Finally, we exchanged rings.  Don had a small moment of panic when he glanced at my hand and realized that I had forgotten to remove my engagement ring.  But, I slipped it off quickly and we proceeded.  I don’t even think anyone noticed.

Photo by Genie Gratto

At last!  We were married.  You know what came next …

Photo by Linda Bouchillon

Up next: Choosing the readings

Don and I have been married five days.  Our wedding was just about as perfect as I hoped.  It was cold - my teeth chattered during the vows.  The weather was damp, but it didn’t actually rain on us.  I didn’t get all the pictures I wanted.  I forgot the flowers for the tin buckets that lined the dune path to the beach.  I lost the seating card for my really good friend and her husband. 

BUT, at the end of the day, I was married to Don. 

And that’s just about as perfect a day as I could ever have had.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at this picture.  Have you ever seen such a look of pure joy on one girl’s face?

This picture was taken by our friend Tom Bridge. 

Last year on May 2 it was 85 degrees in Ocean City. When it came time to think about how to make the wedding programs, we had no idea what the weather had in store for us.  Just in case it was hot, we decided on program fans so the guests could fan themselves after crossing the dune and sitting in the potentially hot sun without shade.

Well, if you’ve looked at the weather forecast, you’ll know that’s probably not necessary. 

BUT, they’re done.  I took a picture but really can’t bring myself to upload it right now … so you’ll just have to imagine for now.  The paper matches our invitation suite and they are two sided with a stick in the middle to make the fan.  The first side has the standard wedding ceremony stuff, but the second side is a surprise (tip: bring a pen or pencil).

This turned out to be one of the harder DIY projects.  Gluing the two heavy, coated papers together with a stick in the middle was sort-of a challenge.  Even though my original prototype came out nice and straight, all the fans we made last week turned out a little wavy.  Nonetheless, they are done and they look good.  Many thanks to Katy, Melane and Kate for helping us out.

I am wearing Vera Wang on my wedding day.

No, really.  I am.

On my feet.

(Warning - picture of my feet below the fold) Read more…