Since getting engaged, the question of whether or not to change my name has been in the back of my mind. I’ve gone back and forth a few times, but I keep coming back to the decision to take Don’s last name.
On one hand, taking Don’s name is patriarchal tradition that I don’t necessarily want to take part in. On the other hand, keeping my current last name - my father’s family name - is equally patriarchal; it just happens to be the name I’ve always had.
We’re forming a new family and I like the idea that our family - even if it’s just the two of us - is identified to the world as a family unit by our shared last name. I’d be just as happy if we agreed to change our name to something else, as long as we both chose it. It could be a combination of our current names (Whitesell, Fusside?), or something we just like (maybe there’s a first name in both our family histories that would make a nice last name).
Don, however, likes his name and wants to keep it. Because he wouldn’t change his name, he doesn’t see why I would want to change mine. He’s being honest and completely fair. If I want to take his name, he won’t object (and he’ll probably even be happy in the long run); he just doesn’t see why I would change the only identity I have ever known.
So, if he doesn’t care, why DO I want to change my name?
I’m in media relations and a spokesperson for my industry, so my name is highly google-able right now and I’m sure our PR firm would be happier if I kept my name. I thought about changing my name officially, but using my maiden name for work … however that seems like it could turn into a real pain.
I own the URL for my current name, but the URL for my potential new name is already taken. I sent an e-mail to the person using it right now, but have not heard back from her.
Even though my current last name is kind-of hard to pronounce and hard to spell (I don’t know why either of those things are true since no one misspells or mispronounces Russell, but for some reason the “F” changes things), I do like the way it sounds and I like my initials. My potential new name is a lot easier to pronounce and spell, but I’ll probably use my maiden name as middle name making is less attractive to the ear and giving me odd initials (try writing out SLF and SFW and see what I mean).
Add up all of those things and it seems impractical to change my name, but I’m doing it anyway - because when it comes down to 
it, I want to share a name with Don. I just WANT to.
So, in just over five months I will begin the process of becoming Susan Whiteside. What do you think of my new name?