Hey That’s A Nice Life

A few people have asked me about the readings we chose for the wedding ceremony. Since I just finished telling you about the actual ceremony, this seems like a good time to share.

Our first reading was a poem written by Alice Walker. It really spoke to what I most wanted out of our ceremony.  I love my life with Don, and I am extremely happy to have him share the rest of my days … but I always want us to be our own people with our own interests and opinions.  I sort-of wrote about this when I discussed our search for a wedding celebrant.

When I saw the Alice Walker poem discussed on the $2K wedding blog, I knew it was something I wanted to include in our ceremony as well.  It was a perfect summary of what I wanted to say.  We’re not squeezing our two full lives into one; we’re each expanding our lives.  I love it.

Beyond What
Alice Walker

We reach for destinies beyond
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
of promises
perceive each
the other’s life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
into One.
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.

To choose, renounce,
this, or that –
call it a council between equals
call it love.

Later I found an interpretation of an Apache wedding blessing that I really liked and we decided to use that as well.  Then I learned that the blessing has no connection to the Apache or any other native culture, but that it was written for a 1950s Western called Broken Arrow.  I figured that there were lots of other things about this wedding that were non-traditional … so we might as well use a blessing written for a wedding in a Hollywood movie.

Wedding Blessing
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons,
But there is one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

The rest of the wedding ceremony was edited from the ethical humanist wedding ceremony.  If you want to read the whole thing (which is actually quite short), read more below the fold.

(PS - if you don’t keep reading, next up is A Small Celebration on the Beach)

Read more…

So when we left off, my dad was escorting me down the aisle, Don was waiting at the end and the guests were taking pictures.  I didn’t notice at the time, but Don was a little choked up (either that or the wind was getting to him which is entirely possibly). 

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson 

My father gave me a hug and Don asked the officiant if he could kiss me yet.  Jeffrey had a good sense of humor and the crowd all laughed, but Jeffrey did protect my honor by telling Don he had to wait until after our vows.

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

Jeffrey began the ceremony with a welcome and then asked our friend Suzanne to read a poem.  That’s when we realized everyone was still standing.  In fact, I think I may have said, “Oh, they’re still standing.”  Very bridal. At any rate, everyone chuckled again when Jeff told them they could be seated.

Here’s a picture of Suzanne reading Beyond What, by Alice Walker.  She barely even got squeaky (her major concern!).

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

After the first reading we began our vows.  We both said, “I do.”  Don was first, and then me.  After I agreed, Don breathed an audible sigh of relief and feigned wiping the sweat off his brow.  I know this was feigned because it was freezing!  In fact, it was around this time that my teeth started to chatter.

Photo by Erin Bonilla

Then we exchanged vows.  Don recited his beautifully, but I, of course, got emotional.  The first line was, “Don, I choose you to be my husband.”  I started to cry.  That’s when the next round of hilarity started.

The second line was, “To respect you, to care for you and to grow with you.”

I was trying to compose myself to go on but I couldn’t find my voice through the tears.  This is when Don laughed.  And that’s when Jeffrey laughed.  Because, as it turned out, the line that I couldn’t quite choke out was, “To respect you.”  Don said, “I know I make that tough for you most days.”  And that’s when everyone else laughed, including me. 

Later people told me they thought I was laughing about respecting him the whole time, but really I was crying from having spoken the previous line and knowing that Don would be beside me, sharing my life, forever and ever.  I was so glad that Don made the joke, though. Even though I was more or less crying during the rest of my vows, I was able to get through them effortlessly after he made me laugh.

And then, mercifully, we had a break while my oldest friend (the friend I have known the longest that is - not actually my OLDEST friend), Dawn, read an Appache wedding blessing.  Here she is doing so:

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

One of the lines in the blessing is “Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.” I was really hoping that Don would start sharing his warmth at that moment because I was freezing.  So when Jeffrey told us to take hands, Don leaned over to blow on my hands and warm them up.  It must have looked like he wanted to kiss them, though, because Jeff said, “Not yet!”

Finally, we exchanged rings.  Don had a small moment of panic when he glanced at my hand and realized that I had forgotten to remove my engagement ring.  But, I slipped it off quickly and we proceeded.  I don’t even think anyone noticed.

Photo by Genie Gratto

At last!  We were married.  You know what came next …

Photo by Linda Bouchillon

Up next: Choosing the readings

So when I left off last, Don was at our chuppah waiting for me and our guests were taking pictures like mad.  Oh, I should mention that Don MADE that chuppah from the bamboo that grows in our backyard. 

<Insert “AWWW” here.>

Yeah, he’s romantic AND handy.

So there he is, waiting for me.  But first we have to seat our moms. 

Penelope enters on Steven’s arm:

(How pretty is she in her purple dress?)

And then comes my mom, Maggie, with Don’s brother Patrick.

(Speaking of pretty … and she looks so happy, too.  See Don?  I told you she likes you.)

And FINALLY it was time for me to meet Don on the beach.  I was giddy and excited and everything a bride should be.  For real.  Look:

I know, right?  My dad looks just as happy as me. 

In fact, he was telling me a cute story around the time this picture was taken.  When I was a little girl I LOVED going to the beach all year long.  No matter how cold it was though, I always wanted to go in the water.  If my parents turned their heads for just one minute, I’d be peeling off my dress and taking off my diaper and headed for the Atlantic.

So my dad was relating this memory and I said, “Don’t worry.  I’m not planning to do that today.”

It turns out, getting married on the beach is intimate.  The aisle is narrow.  The seats are close.  People on the end of the aisle are smiling and touching my arm and whispering to me.

And at the end of the aisle is Don, grinning ear to ear and waiting to become my husband.

The first two pictures were taken by Genie Gratto and Tom Bridge shot the last one.

Next up: We say “I do.”

My father remarked that my wedding to Don was probably the best photo-documented wedding of all time.  He might be right.

As Don waited on the beach for me, there were no less than 20 cameras trained on him.

There were so many cameras after his image, in fact, that Don whipped out his iPhone and took a picture of the crowd and their cameras.

We’re so lucky that so many of our friends are great photographers.  By the time we arrived at our minimoon destination Sunday night there were dozens of photos from our wedding online on Flickr or Facebook.  In fact, we crawled into the big, comfy bed and spent some time looking at the pictures and reliving our wonderful weekend moment by moment.

Both of these pictures were taken by our friend, Genie Gratto, the Inadvertent Gardener.

Next up: I join Don at the chuppah

After a year of planning and lots and lots of lost sleep in the weeks leading up to the wedding, it was time to actually get married.

The family was all relaxing in the condo when suddenly Lynda ranin and told us that Don’s entrance song (Lamb’s Gabriel) was playing.  We rushed out and our wedding officiant, Jeffrey Gisriel, took his place.  Then Don and his father walked to the front together.

Photo by Genie Gratto

We were so relaxed before the ceremony started that Don hadn’t even adjsuted his tie.  Speaking of that tie, it originally belonged to my grandfather Alfred Norman.  After he passed away, I snagged it from his closet with the hope that Don would be able to wear it on our wedding day.  I’m so glad Don wanted to wear his tux and that it worked out the way I had hoped.  That’s probably the last time the tie will be used as it was super fragile and brittle and nearly gave up the ghost as Don was putting it on.  Nonetheless, he looks so handsome, don’t you think.  Eric looks pretty great, too.  Don and I bought him that purple tie for his birthday.  

When Don and Eric arrived the at front, they shared this nice Father / Son moment.

Photo by Erin Bonilla

Then our processional music started and my groom was waiting for me.

Photo by Jaimie Reese Peterson

Next up: What happened while Don was waiting?

When Don and I started planning this wedding, we both agreed that we wanted it to be a community affair, with all our friends and family gathered together and working together to make it happen.  We recruited people to make invitations, take pictures, deliver things, pick things up, decorate and more.

We didn’t have a wedding party with just four or six or eight people.  We had a wedding party of 104 people.  So, we knew we wanted to invite everyone to a rehearsal dinner of sorts - our Welcome Picnic.

Thankfully, we had a GREAT location.  Our friends, the Dickerson family, offered their house and property as a venue.  Don and I can’t thank them enough - not only for offering a place for the Whitesides to host the Welcome Picnic, but also for a million other things during the weekend.

Here are some pictures from the wonderful evening.

We're so excited the wedding weekend has finally arrived.

Just a few of my wedding elves pictured here.

The Talent Showcase. Kate and Matt sing while Ed plays along. Genie Gratto also sang. So did Ed. Tiff Bridge made us laugh (seriously, a Facebook wedding?). Patrick Whiteside served as emcee.

Here you can see what happens when a little girl's hair gets stuck on a bride's earring the night before her wedding.

I was very happy to see so many people the night before our wedding, but for me the best part happened during Don’s toast / thank you speech.

He proposed to me.  For real this time.

Don to Susan: Will you marry me? Susan to Don: Yes, I will. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

 The first time he proposed, Don forgot to ask, “Will you marry me?”  I said, “I do.”  This time around, we both got it right.

Almost as good as the proposal, was the food.  Classic Eastern Shore fare - steamed crabs, steamed shrimp, fried chicken.  YUM!

Maryland blue crabs. Oh my!

We’re very grateful to Don’s parents for hosting this affair.  Everyone had a great time (as I recall, and judging by the pictures).

The Welcome Picnic hosts, Penelope and Eric Whiteside

Don and I have been married five days.  Our wedding was just about as perfect as I hoped.  It was cold - my teeth chattered during the vows.  The weather was damp, but it didn’t actually rain on us.  I didn’t get all the pictures I wanted.  I forgot the flowers for the tin buckets that lined the dune path to the beach.  I lost the seating card for my really good friend and her husband. 

BUT, at the end of the day, I was married to Don. 

And that’s just about as perfect a day as I could ever have had.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at this picture.  Have you ever seen such a look of pure joy on one girl’s face?

This picture was taken by our friend Tom Bridge. 

Last year on May 2 it was 85 degrees in Ocean City. When it came time to think about how to make the wedding programs, we had no idea what the weather had in store for us.  Just in case it was hot, we decided on program fans so the guests could fan themselves after crossing the dune and sitting in the potentially hot sun without shade.

Well, if you’ve looked at the weather forecast, you’ll know that’s probably not necessary. 

BUT, they’re done.  I took a picture but really can’t bring myself to upload it right now … so you’ll just have to imagine for now.  The paper matches our invitation suite and they are two sided with a stick in the middle to make the fan.  The first side has the standard wedding ceremony stuff, but the second side is a surprise (tip: bring a pen or pencil).

This turned out to be one of the harder DIY projects.  Gluing the two heavy, coated papers together with a stick in the middle was sort-of a challenge.  Even though my original prototype came out nice and straight, all the fans we made last week turned out a little wavy.  Nonetheless, they are done and they look good.  Many thanks to Katy, Melane and Kate for helping us out.

There are 9 days until the wedding and we can now officially start checking the weather.  Be warned that long range forecasts are rarely accurate … but it’s fun to watch.  If you have a different weather Web site you prefer, the zip code in Ocean City is 21842.

According the Weather channel, Saturday, May 2 will have a high of 64 degrees and a low of 53 degrees with a 20 percent chance of rain.

And if it turns out that there is an 80 percent chance of rain and it’s only 46 degrees, it won’t matter.  At the end of the day, I’ll still be married to Don.  Although our guests should bring coats in that scenario as there is no heat at the reception venue!

The RSVP date has come and gone allowing me to finish up the seating charts and table cards. 

I have to say, making the seating chart was the hardest task of wedding planning yet.  Thankfully, I used this great tool on the Martha Stewart web site (I think they are actually the same tools used on the Wedding Channel) to map out the tables.  Don thinks it would have been easier to make index cards and map it out in that way first … and I can see the logic.  BUT, since I was tracking our guest list and responses with the other tools on Martha’s site, SHE organized everything for me and that made it as simple as possible.  Of course, by SHE I mean that Martha herself - not a team of 25 Web developers - helped out.  Right?

Turns out, as simple as possible is not all that simple.  Some tables were really easy - people from work, my closest local friends, Don’s group of friends from Miami.  But there were some people who just won’t know that many people there besides the two of us and I wanted to be sure to put everyone at tables where they would have fun.  Meeting new people is fun, right?

Here’s a sneak peek at a few table cards (you’ll notice there are no duplicate tables below, so you can’t figure out who you’re sitting with yet!):

In the top left corner, you’ll see the table name the guest(s) is seated at, and in the lower right hand corner is the guest’s name.  The cards are held in place by shell magnets (these were made by gluing a rare earth (very strong) magnet onto a sea shell - a lot harder than it sounds, much to my surprise).  The table names are beaches where Don and I have vacationed / visited.  There are 13 tables in total, with 105 guests expected at this time.